Jewish Marriage

Does Judaism believe in soul-mates?

The Talmud teaches that forty days before a male is conceived, a voice goes out from heaven announcing who he will marry. Admittedly, there are other places in the Talmud whereby advice is given regarding choosing a wife. However, the idea of a soul-mate or "bashert" in Yiddish is strongly believed in the Jewish community.

How does one "acquire" a spouse?

The oral law states that a woman can be acquired through money, a contract or sexual relations. Only one is necessary yet all three are usually satisfied. In the case of acquisition through money (such as through a wedding ring) is not, G-d forbid, objectification of the women. Rather, the woman's acceptance of the money signifies her acceptance of the husband. Furthermore, the Talmud specifically states that a woman can only be "acquired" with her consent. Acquisition through a contract takes the form of the Ketubah given to the wife by the husband under the wedding canopy. The Ketubah is ultimately a marriage contract which outlines the husband's obligations to his wife during marriage and if G-d forbid the need arises, also in the case of divorce.

What stages make up the process of a Jewish marriage?

There are two distinct stages; Kiddushin (betrothal) and Nisuin (full-fledged marriage). Kiddushin is the acceptance by the woman of the money, contract or sexual relations offered by the man. Such an act designates the woman as the wife of a specific man. This is hinted at in the word Kiddushin, with its root meaning set aside for a sacred purpose. The couple can not live together at this stage. Nisuin is the completion of marriage. This occurs when the husband takes his wife into his home and they begin their life together. In times gone by Kiddushin and Nisuin could occur as far as a year apart. During this time the husband would prepare a home. Nowadays the two stages are usually performed together.

What happens on the wedding day?

• It is customary for the bride and groom not to see each other in the week leading up to the wedding. This is in order to increase the excitement and anticipation.
• When the bridge and groom finally see each other on the wedding day after separately greeting the guests the groom covers the brides face with her veil. This is reminiscent of the Matriarch Rebecca covering her face before marrying Isaac.
• The ceremony takes place under a canopy. The canopy is open on all sides, symbolizing Abraham and Sarah's home that was unconditionally open to all.
• The Ashkenazi custom is for the bride to circle the groom seven times before standing beside him. Just as G-d created the world in seven days, here a new world is created in seven circles.
• The Ketubah is read and given to the bride. The reading of the Ketuba makes a break between the Kiddushin and Nisuin.
• Seven blessings are recited under the canopy relating to the bridge, groom and faith in G-d as the One who creates and sustains everything.
• A glass is broken by the groom reflecting the idea that even in times of intense joy we remember the destruction of the Temple and the incomplete national status.
It is important to know that one cannot get married on Shabbat, Jewish holidays, nor days of fasting. Take a look at our Jewish Jewelry collection. We offer unique designs, low prices and worldwide shipping.